(Image Credit: © Brenda Young | Dreamstime.com)
Since I have had my daughter, there have been many moments and situations where I have found myself reflecting on my time in boot camp. Some of the situations I encountered are so relevant to motherhood that I have to share them with you. Without further ado…
1. Quick Showers
In boot camp, we were given TEN minutes to undress, shower with 40 girls and six shower heads, put clothes on, and then be standing at attention in front of our racks ready for Taps (lights out). As a mother, I have quietly slithered out of bed at the butt crack of dawn with baby monitor in-hand, so that I could quickly take a shower before the little one wakes up. Exhausted from waking up multiple times during the night, I still manage to wash my hair and clean my body at super-fast lightning speed. I’ve never hallucinated more in my life. Wait, was that the baby crying? shower off. Like in boot camp, shaving my legs is for Sunday. Which leads me to number two..
2. Holiday Routine
In boot camp, we had what was called “holiday routine” on Sunday’s. This was the day you went to church (to pray to sweet baby Jesus to please get you the heck out of there), wrote letters (with pen and paper) to your folks, socialized with people in your division, or, you took the longest shower you could to do stuff like shave your legs, use conditioner properly, or just sit there in the hot water and cry, Oh god, what did I get myself into!. As a mother, when the weekend rolls around and the hubby is home; I quietly sneak away to take the longest shower I can to exfoliate, shave, and yeah, sometimes cry. Ha!
3. Sign Language
In boot camp, during “chow” time at the galley, we weren’t allowed to speak to each other. We had to use their own specially created sign language for Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Hot Sauce (I am sure I am forgetting something). As a mother, they have what is called baby sign language now. My dear daughter is quite fond of Rachel Coleman’s ‘Signing Time’ videos on YouTube, and I can’t tell you how many times I have gone to bed with “It’s Signing Time with Alex and Leah” playing over and over in my head. Take a listen for yourself and tell me that won’t haunt you in your dreams if you listen to it enough times.
4. Ten-Minute Meals
Are you catching on to the trend here? Like everything else in boot camp, the military has an obsession with making sure everything is done in ten minutes, including meal time, no lollygagging! As a mother, well at some point your baby goes from sleeping all of the time, to waking up just at the exact moment you’ve decided to sit down for a meal–and this means any meal. So then you quickly stuff your face, because it’s either that or nothing my friends. Who needs ten minutes to eat anyways?
5. No More Privacy!
In boot camp, you do everything together. Eating, sleeping, showering, ah heck, even pooping. That’s right, I said it. You poop together too. Separate stalls of course, but not that private solace everyone longs for when it comes to doing the poo. You lose all sense of shame when you are in boot camp. Maybe it’s how Adam and Even felt before they realized they were naked? I don’t know.
Anyhow, as a mother, same rules apply! Most of the time my kid showers with me when her father is on travel. Why? because she isn’t old enough to play by herself, and I can’t always get a shower in when she’s sleeping. She sleeps in bed with me, and of course we share our meals together too. The pooping, well…gone are the days when I could close the door and peruse Facebook for thirty minutes by myself undisturbed while going number two (the glory days). Ohhh no, if I close that door, who do you think will come a’knocking? That’s right. The kid. So, I leave the door open and she hangs out in front of me (sometimes on me), trying to get into bathroom drawers she shouldn’t be, or digging through trash while I tell her “Put that down!!”.
Well, that’s my list for now! I am sure there are other things I will remember in the future. In the mean time, any of you mommas got anything to add to the list? I would love to hear from you! Until next time…